Online Dating: Is Love Virtual Too?

We're in the age of virtual everything. From your Facebook "friends" confusing their private journal with their timeline and posting photos of your ugly lunch on Instagram, every aspect of our lives exists in a virtual sense. So why not love? Pay $50 for a membership and you too can meet the man of your dreams. Or as it happened in my case, living in Los Angeles for one year without so much as a date can make the offer sound very tempting. When you're tired of the "bar scene", it's not really the scene you're tired of, but the nonsense sex and few awkward hangouts that occur after because you've ruined any chance of actually trying to date. Face it, he was cuter after three shots of tequila but you continue to hang, maybe, if you're lucky, because you don't want to be labeled the "slut" so we acknowledge that the relationship just didn't work.

After this moment, which we must take half the blame for, we as women realize that it's time to meet a nice guy who has similar interests and won't spill beer on his hipster flannel while trying chugging to impress his immature buddies. Enter online dating. We're not desperate, just selective. After all of my experiences from the fun, to the drunk, to the ugly to the straight-up clingy, you tend to learn a thing or two. Online dating is not for those hopeless romantics who have this twisted fantasy that love is literally a click away to the first guy who emails with a witty pick up line. I'm convinced that a solid 60% of men who have profiles are really only looking for a lay. It's the new lazy man's way. I have given into this just too many times!! You assume because they're on a website looking for love that they MUST want the same things as you. That this sloppy two-night stand is sooooo going to turn into in a relationship! Score! But no, it'll taper off and let’s face it, with ten more guys at your finger tips; you brush it off and continue looking. You're always looking.

As humans, we tend to disregard the things that come too easily to us. It isn't until you there is a real sacrifice, dedication and hard work that you acquire an appreciation for whatever. With dozens of available men with a limited risk of rejection, it's a single lady's fantasy. But this is what I've really come to learn when I've taken the blinders.

I've dated a lot. Many of them were creeps, didn't want the same things in life, wore really high socks, put their cup down on the table too hard, had terrible taste in music, couldn't make every fantasy come true, hated country, dealt drugs and the list goes on. All you can think in your head is "LOSER!" and you doubt why you ever got online in the first place. With the ghosts of horrible dates past still playing over in your head, your standards are lowered because you feel like you'll never meet someone. Enter Joe Schmoe. He has a job, is attractive and you can actually talk to him. He's bearable to be around and you can keep a conversation alive. So you have date number two. Then another and another until finally two months have passed. At this time, you think to yourself that if you've been dating him for this long; it must be something and have the "exclusive talk". Without even realizing it, you've settled. You've finally mistaken butterflies for "I don't hate him" and subconsciously think that you're not going to get any better. It's the comparison that makes him seem like Prince Charming. Ladies, Prince Charming does not exist. If he does, well, Kate Middleton already snagged that one. But what I do know is that there are Chandlers and Teds out there who are quirky, stupid and sometimes impossible, but they're genuine and truly care for you.

As a Christian, we are taught that if you chase God, happiness follows. For the non-believers out there, I say chase yourself. Fill your schedule. Make dinner dates with friends; see that movie you've been waiting for, even if it is alone. Get lost in your hobbies and books. Once you're living your life for you and no one else, you're at a perfect place for happiness to just fall in. From there, confidence will emerge and you find yourself smiling more. Then when you're not even looking for it, I'm positive the perfect guy will come along. Don't get me wrong, he's not going to be perfect, flawless and a chizzled six-pack but he'll be perfect for you. And the most important part is that he'll be attracted to you and not the profile you created tailored to be the right thing for someone to love.

I sure don't have it figured out and yes, I'm single, but I do have faith in what's to come. Don't let the online world of fake men jade you. Take control of your own life then love and happiness will follow.